He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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