Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
