it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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