I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
