If i come over, it means nothing
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
