I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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