I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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