I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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