Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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