wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
