and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
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