I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
