are you so shy because you have an std?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
