Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
