sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Randomize