I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
