I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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