Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
