What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
