My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
