Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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