we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
