he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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