I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
