umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
