well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize