he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
