I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
