yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We were destined to go to rehab together
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
