oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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