idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
