they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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