Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Randomize
