its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize
