I am puke
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I fill condoms, not promises.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
