i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
