your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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