One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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