I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize