i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
