He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Randomize
