You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
