she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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