my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
