I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
