There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
only you would photoshop your dick
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Randomize