Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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