Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
