will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
