The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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