How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
