i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
