this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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