Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Randomize
