Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
