It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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