I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
