drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
