Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Randomize
