ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
