You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Of course I have a pirate flag
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
