i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
