So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
