I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Randomize
