This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
