Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize