So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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